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we are the dollars and cents

May. 21st, 2006

11:36 pm

i am not what you want i am not what you want i am not what you want i am not what you want i am not what you want i am not what you want i am not what you want i am not what you want
i am not what you want i am not what you want

there's no telling how long i'll be here.

May. 18th, 2006

10:47 pm - don't prematurely CRack

-instead i made lists-made lists and tore them up, hundreds of lists: of cavalry leaders and football players and cities, and popular tunes and pitchers, and happy times, and hobbies and houses lived in and how many suits since i left the army and how many pairs of shoes(I didn't count the suit i bought in Sorrento that shrunk, nor the pumps and dress shirt and collar that i carried around for years and never wore, because the pumps got damp and grainy and the shirt and collar got yellow and starch-rotted). And lists of women i'd liked, and of the times i had let myself be snubbed by people who had not been my betters in character or ability.

May. 7th, 2006

09:08 pm

actual experiences in my life and the idealized versions i play out in my head never square up.

and sometimes the real life outcomes are so much more extroadinary than i could have ever dreamt up in the first place.

May. 1st, 2006

10:04 pm

if you hold true to the doctrine that good things can never last, that the ups and downs of human drama will eventually serve its natural course, you're wasting your brain. You’re training it to a thing of balance and averages that in the end, just contaminates the good experiences and settles them in the stagnate plane of mediocrity. you musn't concern yourself with the next step, or the next stage, or the bird's eye view of yourself and those around you. it is then that you can let your jabbering conscience rest; become aware of your own heart's melody, and how it coincides with everything else.




radiohead, june 29 & 30

Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: true love waits

Apr. 20th, 2006

09:03 pm - one time ago a crazy dream came to me i dreamt i was walkin in world war III

YESS
a word from our local audio engineer...
concerning a certain thom, jonny, colin, ed, and phil...


Today we had an old songs day! The band have decided that everyday we will cover 10 old songs first, Ive been supplied with CDs with more than 40 songs they propose to perform on this tour and then with the remaining time do some work on their new material. So in some ways it was much easier for me, everything suddenly became much more relative. As a monitor engineer I always have to deal with the artists parameters, for example, today they all wanted to use their wedge mixes instead of in ears, which was good because on stage they use a combination of the two. So again it was a mad mix day, with a great result!

Jonny made us all stop work for a while with his crazy samples, in fact we had to stop to wipe our tears from our eyes, how can you possibly turn a voice into the sound of ducks quacking! The boys are in fantastic form, absolutely dieing to get back doing live shows; the overall atmosphere has been great until something goes badly wrong. Technology has the great ability to stop doing what it is supposed to. Thom has a new set of in ear moulds, only used for 2 days, suddenly one side stops working, a hold up while for me to change the cable, and panic phone calls to the USA to get more supplies. So we finish the, again successful rehearsal, the boys go home and there is another few hours work getting everything ready for thier next appearance tomorrow. Id still rather do this than have a proper job any day!

...
june.

Apr. 17th, 2006

10:47 pm

i want more than anything for a male to love me in a completely platonic way.
and to break the knees of boys who don't understand the meaning of no!

Apr. 16th, 2006

10:16 pm

I met my cousin Randy and my Uncle Johnny this weekend. Randy had a weasel pitched new york accent and a black eye. He later explained that someone at home depot "talked to him the wrong way". Johnny was a womanizer some years past his prime, but hadn't fully retired his old ways. He called me a fox. He was very suave.
Randy takes regimented visits to Costa Rica once or twice a month to "work"
He also had a scar clear across the front of his throat.

His brother Anthony (i guess that would make him my cousin as well) overdosed on morphine patches and died. I never met Anthony.

09:26 pm

i keep falling over i keep passing out when i see a face like you

Apr. 8th, 2006

12:48 pm

GOD THINGS LIKE THE ACT ARE SO FRUSTRATING.


and the only thing that can make me feel the least bit better is cranking up the dial and driving really really fast.


i swear it's that karma guy tripping me up again.
glad to know you're keeping it regular, cosmos.

Current Music: why dont you remember my name

Mar. 19th, 2006

02:26 pm - we re gonna kill the california girls

ohh it's about time i embrace these 69 inches granted to me through birth.
heels HIGH heels i want to add four sparkly black decorative green inches to my legs and watch them s p r e a d out l o n g e r r and l e a a nn er and eccentuate my limbs with stockings and tights and socks and colorful High heels. and dresses too. fancy dresses with lace and ribbon and fluctuating neck lines and lengths of all sorts. i want my hair to grow long past my back and graze my ankles. and it will hold its waves but not tense up in those spastic curls. soft waves for miles. your anima is crying so BE feminine.




i'd never abandon my personal librarian way of dressing completely.

Current Music: tom violence

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